You will regret starting to do what you love, but you will get over it
The first post of 2023, I was struggling a bit choosing the topic I want to write about this time. Last year, I wrote about quitting my job, healing from my bad relationships and friendships, self-image and self-love, navigating a new workplace — all of which I love. I realized I never truly shared about my journey with my “side” hobby — writing and the process of how I got here. I don’t want to bore you with my life story, so I want to dedicate this article to share with you the one key thing that will happen once you start pursuing something you love: You will regret making that decision.
I don’t mean this as a warning saying “I told you it’s not going to work out”. If anything, it’s quite the opposite. Sometimes, things that are good for you are things you do not think you deserve. It’s like waking up the next day after breaking up with a toxic boyfriend, thinking: “maybe he was not that bad, maybe it was just me”. It’s like thinking to yourself “I am not qualified enough for this, why did I even try” the moment something goes wrong at your new job — when no one reads your article, or when your boss gives you the first negative feedback. Of course it was easier. The status quo is always easy: to stay in a relationship and always have that “company”, to continue the old job which was probably demanding but you got used it anyway and just did it while feeling like a small bit of yourself was dying within you as days went by.
But, the moment you chose to make something out of what used to be a hobby, you did not choose easy. I used to only write when I absolutely had nothing to do: no work (because it makes me money), no social commitments (because I like people seeing that I am sociable and I go out), no movies to watch (because I want to distract my brain from all the thoughts — there are a lot of them — going on in my head). When you choose to prioritize your hobby, it means a mindset shift: facing yourself and understanding what you like, what goes on in your head, and your feelings, and prioritize them over money and whatever that is deemed good by society.
It’s just easy to forget once in a while that you made that decision— and it’s okay. Your family and friends are there to support you wherever you go. My blog and articles are there to entertain you at you down times (shameless plug). And to be honest, what do you expect? To get good at something the moment you start? We all know good things don’t come easy. Think about that one biggest achievement you have made so far — did you get there with ease and on the first week of trying?
For my new job that I am very much proud of, I spent 6 months of almost daily practice of maths, casing, and interviews with strangers I didn’t know. I reached out to people I had absolutely no connection on LinkedIn, and all of my applications were done by referrals and helped me skipped a few rounds. For this blog to happen, I went through a 3-month burnout and therapy to recenter my life, remind myself of what I wanted to do and start doing it. And even then, I felt and still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing at times: should I just write? how often should I write? should I learn to write?
To this day, I still try to learn and do things as I go. When I came across a good book on writing and creating — I read it, learnt and applied it to wherever I can. When I felt like writing in the middle of the night, I opened my laptop and started typing. It got me somewhere: I posted at least an article every month, and got so happy seeing how my post got some likes from others — it used to just be me writing and reading for myself. And, I forgot how often I used to refer to myself as “overthinking”. Ever since I started to write down my thoughts, ideas and reflection, I not only realized their actual value, but also freed my brain capacity by putting them into words. It’s like creating your own library for all the creative outputs.
So yeah, unless you’re a genius (in which case, please reach out and teach me how to do things), I’m pretty sure we are on the same page. Take it easy, things will always work out, somehow, sometime. You will, eventually, love that you made this decision. This time 1 year ago, I did not even have a proper blog post, zero job prep, absolutely no idea that I was going to move back to my home country this year — all of which turned into things that make me extremely happy and proud of myself. If you are still reading this, I’m sure you are as much of a dreamer / creator with a lot of anxiety and self doubt as I am. It will get better, because you will get better. Just enjoy the process of creating, thinking, discussing and sharing it to the world. I have had great fun doing this, and I hope you do too.
And in case you are wondering which book I came across that helped with my creative process, it’s: Stealing like an artist — 10 things nobody told you about being creative by Austin Kleon. I hope it helps you the same way that it helped me, and here’s to a year of creating more beautiful words, ideas, and delicious baked goods and pastries ( to my baker friend ;) ).
Happy 2023 everyone.
