Another practical post by me. Yes, that’s correct. You are very welcome.
Just kidding.
As adults-turning kids, we all go through moments where we don’t know what the f*ck we should do. Especially when faced with many options.
Two days before my last day in Singapore, I was on the phone with my friend, crying. There was a last-minute hiccup re my relocation to Vietnam.
I had to decide between a few options within a short amount of time. And the stake seemed too high that I felt extremely lost and overwhelmed.
This happened again the other day when I got some issues getting my paperwork done. It probably will reoccur every now and then in the future.
So, what should we do when it happens? Here are the three things I did — they helped tremendously.
1. Take 5 deep breaths
Now I sound like your meditation app. But it’s true — when panic, we take extremely short breathes, which accelerates our already rushing minds.
No matter what decision we make later on, the first thing we need is some mental space. Without space, how else will we lay out all the options we have and think through what to do, right?
Let’s take 5 big deep breaths. Inhale — count to 5, then exhale, just as long.
It always worked for me — pulling my mind back from chasing all the scenarios of what could happen to the present moment.
2. Now lay out all the options you have
In your head, or sometimes, I prefer paper. I write them down — just to have them clear, concrete, easy to dissect.
Usually, what makes our minds most overwhelmed is jumping between the pros and cons of different options.
“What if I don’t have enough time to do everything? What if I do A and I lose B? But then there’s C that could be better but will C be easier than B?”
Soon enough, our mind becomes a total mess. Of course there will always be trade-offs. Of course there will be some sort of constraints.
The thing is, the mental mess distracts us from the most important thing: our priority. Realistically, not everything has to be done at the same time.
Not everything is of equal importance. Having the space to lay all the options down, we can finally…
3. Ask yourself: what is my biggest priority?
To me, the most time-sensitive item usually ranks the first. Sometimes, it’s the dependency items that the next steps rely completely on.
Identifying your priority means narrowing down options. If A is time-sensitive, we eliminate options that put completing A at risk.
For the remaining options, we choose whichever that helps create more value on in addition to A — only if not jeopardizing it.
See — it’s already so much clearer.
You can’t just “stop being anxious”. But we can learn to: pace our heart beats, get some clarity and then create a guideline for our decision.
To be very honest, even when having a decision in your mind, you might still feel anxious at times. We fear the worst to happen, always.
So, remember one thing: it has always worked out.
Like literally, if I could leave for another country one day after I lost my wallet with my ID, if my shipment to Vietnam could made it out of my house the morning of my flight, anything is pretty much possible.
And hey, if you followed all these steps: weighing your options, choosing the most sensible one to achieve your goal — you did the best you can.
Sometimes, we simply cannot control everything. Sometimes, we just need to make up our mind. And if troubles come later, we can always repeat the process, and ask for help if we ever need to.
Just like I cried to my friend for help. You can do that too.
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