Howdy friends. To continue from the burnout topic, I want to give some practical tips on how to immediately act on the issue, the moment you realized you can no longer run from it.
While our work and personal lives already have kept us running on barely any fuel for a while, no one is exactly ready for a burnout. Here are 5 things to do when sh*t hits the fan.
1. Give your supervisor a heads-up and get in touch with HR
My first thought back then were: “Do I quit my job now?” — Well first of all, you shouldn’t quit immediately. No important decisions should be made at vulnerable and extremely emotional moments like this. I’m not saying being exhausted as f*ck from work is not reasonable. If anything, it absolutely is justified. However, communicating with your boss not only can help avoid tons of anxiety later on, it also can potentially add value to your recovery.
There are some potential benefits that you might not be aware of. I’m not talking about the not-so-helpful mental health webinars they make us sit through while finishing our presentation. Often times, there are a few free counseling sessions, paid mental health days that official employees are entitled to. They were probably part of the reason you’re burned out as hell right now, so leverage the resources to save yourself time, money and efforts.
If you are worried about being a problem, asking yourself: Can I even take a break? The projects I’m managing will not be able to launch on time if I do. Well, you can absolutely take a break. It’s called employment at will for a reason. One humbling lesson I learnt from this period was:
I’m not that irreplaceable.
These days and age, with technology, ChatGPT and a bunch of overworked colleagues, for sure they will find a way to fill in your temporary absence. It was hard pill to swallow for my young big ego who used to take pride in how good I am at competing in these life races. At the same time, it was relieving. I can finally breathe and care for myself and myself only.
2. Call your family and friends, NOW
I had been abroad for almost 7 years, having left home at 17. At that point, I was really good at pretending to my parents that I was okay. My weekly conversations with them mostly were comprised of “It’s all good” and “How are you doing”, keeping it strictly descriptive to the daily activities that I considered acceptable to them. My parents worry a lot, and I did a lot of things that could have worried them.
The thing is, during a burnout, one needs not only a lot of mental support from friends, but also a safe place that they can trust. Let me tell you one thing:
After everything and everyone, the people who will never betray you are your parents.
Of course, some families do not necessarily feel reliable to some. In this case, it is important to reach out to your close friends. I don’t remember how many people I called on those few days. A lot of them helped by just listening. Some helped by making me feel assured that I made the right decision to take a break. A few could give even better perspective since they had gone through similar things in life.
3. Reach out to your closest possible support system — whom you can feel safe with
How is this different from the last point? Well, in my case, it was. I was in a new city with barely anyone I knew and kept close contact with. I called a lot of friends through phone and face time, but it’s not the same to have someone physically there for you.
I still remember when I went to my first therapy session ever, I gave them my supervisor’s phone number as an emergency contact — that’s how bad it was. Work colleagues, neighbors, flatmates — these are all ok options.
However, if there could be someone who knew you before all this corporate stuff and saw part of your childhood, I’d say they are the best ones. It’s tricky with the first few options because
How much can you feel truly comfortable with someone whose interests might conflict with your own?
Being vulnerable in a burnout, befriending and oversharing with these guys might be anxiety-triggering and risky. For my case, I reached out to a friend from middle school and one from my Masters degree. Both of them ended up being some of the best friends I’ve got in my circle right now.
4. Go see someone who can give professional advice on this
This could have made top of the list. However, I know that it is quite difficult for a lot of people in Asia to experiment with the idea of going to a therapist. Apart from all the stigma around mental health and therapy, it’s our Asian pride that sometimes does not want to admit that we need help.
By this point, I hope that you are comfortable enough and understand that this is not a you problem. According to Quartz, searches for “burnout” was at an all time high in 2022. So yes, everyone is going through the same thing.
While you will get the generic benefits of therapy, I find it helpful for something else. Having someone who have seen burnout, traumas, and stress on a daily basis can give a professional perspective on the issue.
Your friends tell you you are burned out — you will feel reassured. Your therapist tells you you are burned out — you will feel relieved that actually, you are not overreacting.
5. Make a list of all the things you have always wanted to do, and start there
This is somewhat of a long-term action: you can start thinking once your mind settles a bit, and execute over the break. One of the things I appreciated from this period is:
A chance to reflect on myself, not in the serious sense like reassessing all part of my life, but more on what truly bring me joy in this world.
The world was still on a lock down, and I realized it was imperative to start cheering myself up, and I did. I booked my ticket to Europe. I traced back through my whole childhood to narrow down some activities that I enjoyed or had always wanted to try. I went to archery workshop, I did go-karting.
Most importantly, I started writing and a few other side projects on things that I loved but didn’t think I could: fashion, blog, and podcast. The whole process was not short, but it was rewarding and now, you are reading the second one of them.
A quick reminder
Again, good things take time. Experiencing and healing from a burnout will too, but I hope amid the chaos, you find yourself again. After all, we probably had started losing part of who we were way before this burnout happened.
Cheers and take care,
Mido
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