I was bored. I was in a new city. I had a lot of free time and a good pay. I needed a way to spend this money, have fun, and de-stress from all the homesickness. Bumble turned out just the right way to do all of this.
It was a hell hole, I have never gone on an online date site ever since the end of this pseudo-apocalypse. Let’s try to salvage something out of this. Here are my three iconic online dating stories during the pandemic:
1. Covid and the quarantine syndrome:
I’m not making this up. Well actually, I’m making up the name, but I’m sure I was not the only one who experienced this:
Men disappearing from your life the moment they are out of quarantine.
This is funny. These guys would start the scrolling and the matching and the “good morning” and “how has your day been” just the day they came into quarantine. I am guilty of this myself: I created a Bumble account just to browse away the boredom and (as I told myself those days) to get to know the new city and its people. However, I was actually never that bored to continue making daily efforts to check in on them. If anything, I ghost them for a few days, then feel bored, then text them. By then, they probably already have found a bigger and more gullible fish to catch.
It was my first time seeing someone who was so dedicated to this game. It was not the usual checking in. This man literally would update me on what he was doing: most of those were cool things — playing billiard in his hotel suite, buying equipment for his team’s next sailing competition, so on and so forth. Man literally went radio silent the moment he was out of quarantine, even after asking for a date the night just before. I was pissed. Sure it was hypocrite’s move, but a girl can get mad when a man doesn’t turn out the way he seemed to be.
I’m not gonna lie, I used to love attention — even when it came from these assholes.
2. I almost let a man catfish me:
You might be thinking: how can you “almost” get catfished? You either do or don’t.
Let me tell you, I really pressed Ctrl+Z, in person, ruthlessly.
I got cat-fished one time already. Maybe I deserve it, for how I used to care so much about appearance. This time, I knew this guy really liked me, but life was too fun for me to try make this date happen. It was until I got drunk with a friend at 3 PM on a Saturday, and decided I would not mind a drink with a stranger. I texted this man and in 2minutes, he texted asking for the bar’s address.
I was on the phone when this guy came in. Oh god, man, I was really speaking to myself (and my friend, live): I think I just got cat-fished again. He look, from my faint memory, 5% of his pictures. The guy saw me being there on my own, came over. Wearing my mask, I was using all the acting skills I gained from my summer theatre school to give him the look “Who is this strange man coming to my table while I’m waiting for my girl friend”. The moment he changed his direction, I ran for my life.
You can accuse me of whatever. Personally, all these bad trips taught me the lesson to never waste my time again, and I chose to not waste it this time. I didn’t pick up any calls, and just texted that my friend had an emergency (she did — she was dying to hear the details) and that I had to bail on this.
Getting and being home had never felt so good before.
3. I crossed the Black Sea to see my Bumble date:
I might have dramatized that title by like, a lot. It’s true though, I did visit my ex-date, when I was in Europe visiting my friends.
That was the first time I cared so much about someone.
Most of my dating experiences before, my feeling was like a knob I could lower or higher, depending on how committed I wanted myself to be. This time, I didn’t feel like I could.
Maybe it was Covid that got me craving for some company for too long. Maybe it was so many red flags that made a somewhat pink one more appealing than ever. Maybe it was just me really liking this guy. Maybe it was a combination of everything. I was struggling in a new city, and he was just right there, welcoming me with open arms. Everything just seemed to make sense, until he left for Europe.
We both knew it couldn’t work out, but we stayed in touch. Did I really cross the ocean to see him? No. Would I have visited his city if he weren’t there? I don’t think so. I and my friend would probably have chosen a different destination for our trip. That was the extent to which I cared. You might think it’s not a lot. For me, it really was. And despite the knowing, it felt sad to part ways and eventually, see that our conversation died down.
This last story might not be the fun story you expected, but it was a good end to my online dating experience. I learnt a lot, about the bad boys, the flags and their colors. One common theme I saw as I was writing this is:
Most of these guys turned out the opposite of how they depicted themselves to be, physically and emotionally.
Maybe it was the pandemic that pushed people to feel this desperate to lie for the sake of temporary company. Maybe it was the abuse of virtual platforms that people lost touch with their sense of integrity and sympathy.
Summary
As much as I’m critizing the people and this lifestyle, I am not guilt free. I learnt I was a walking red flag, that how as a person, I was not exactly capable of dealing with being on my own either. I saw I was vain in the way I saw people, as well as how I wanted them to see me. Fortunately, after all this, I also learnt a good thing — that I do have a big fat heart. I give so much to the other person once I see the light in them, so that if I am to love again, they’d better be worth it.
I hope you had fun reading this and learnt a bit more about the ups and downs (mostly downs) of online dating. It might be fun, thrilling, self-assuring to see yourself in demand. However, you always have been in the demand anyway, online or offline. Staying too long in a dating environment where people are not held accountable can make you question that truth. Stay on the lookout, and take it easy till the good things come.
Good luck and have a nice Sunday.
Mido
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