BEEF: what happens when you keep letting your intrusive thoughts win
Quite literally. If you have watched the new Asian cinematic hype on Netflix, you know what I’m talking about.
If you haven’t and want to, stop reading (#spoileralert).
What I find intriguing about this movie is how I could see very clear the three types of people in society. At least from the way I have grown.
#1: Those who intentionally hurt others for their own gain
#2: Those who unintentionally hurt others
#3: The nice ones
Truly, this sums up most of those I see around me. Let me take you on who is which.
1. The stranger
I remember someone once told me: there are two types of insecure people in the world.
The one who drags themselves down, and the one who drags others down.
Funny enough, the one who told me that turned out to be the latter. Moral of the story is there are more of these people than we think.
Re: Beef, I’m referring to Danny — the one person that was constantly portrayed as a trespasser everywhere he goes to. Even his own home.
Many say they can relate to Danny, especially the way he suppressed everything and sacrificed for his family.
I think they forgot the definition of sacrifice. Sacrificing is knowing option A is good for you, and option B is good for others. You choose the latter.
Sacrificing is what our parents did best.
Our moms went through miscarriage, child birth, the stress of being a wife, a mother, a daughter-in-law in an era where society was outdated.
They knew the hurt best, yet decided to keep it to themselves. They didn’t want to hurt the people around them. That’s sacrifice.
All Danny did was choosing to hurt people around him to drag them down to his level of self worth.
Man threw away his brother’s college application so that Paul (the brother) can never do better than him.
Man framed the cousin who was helping him out times after times the moment he got the chance to.
They say they never meant to hurt others. That means they don’t even think of how others might feel. To me, that purely sounds like lack of empathy.
Standing between 2 choices, Danny always chose the one that favored him at the expense of other — his brother, his cousin, his family.
After all, he never thought of anyone but himself. And unfortunately, he doesn’t think too highly of himself either.
2. The wife
I thought I could go a bit easier on Amy. Thing is, though she never actively made the choice to hurt others, she also never truly loved them.
Love is actively choosing your partner — whether your feelings for them are there or not. The latter is okay, but you respect them enough to be honest.
Amy did none of that. Not with her husband. Not with her family. She never actively chose them when faced with the dilemma.
Not when she slept with Paul. Not when she risked his safety, realizing Zane was Danny and chose to keep it to herself. Not when she chose to continue working for 5 years, and not when she eventually chose Danny in the final scene.
You know those people who could barely be alone with themselves. I think we all have gone through that phase, but Amy’s case was extreme.
Amy never loved George. Amy loved whatever that George made her feel. He was kind, stable, and brought up in a somewhat healthy environment.
Pick someone who possesses the same quality, she might just be ok with that. It doesn’t have to be George.
I think that’s why many of us can relate. We all used to be there: craving company no matter whom that comes from.
3. The husband
Or the loser — as the movie portrayed. I think the opposite. I think George is the most respectable person in this movie.
The movie makes the guy seem like a lame-ass stay at home husband, who religiously preaches self-care and therapy.
George chose his family. He chose to take care of June and sacrificed his own time for his family.
If you’re thinking but Amy is out there making money. Stop for a moment and reverse the role. Now feel the hypocrisy.
George chose Amy: admission of the affair, the chair, the final shot at Danny. He only stopped when she put their child at risk.
He never did anything when “emotionally entangled” with Mia. He let go of the chair that reminded him of his dad for Amy.
Even at the end, seeing Amy with Danny, his first reaction was to shoot the guy. He worried and actively protected his wife and his family.
Almost at all cost.
I can feel for George. In the way when knowing someone’s darkness, you get sucked in trying to help.
Things don’t end well that way. You end up hurting yourself while they stay the same. Most of the times.
I can understand Amy, but that doesn’t make what she did any better.
Danny — I simply despise.
The movie did a good job portraying the struggles with inter-generational trauma. With mental illness. With many other things.
But just because it did a good job portraying it, it doesn’t mean we have to romanticise the characters and their messed-up-ness.
For the bad ones to be good.
For George to be a loser.
For Amy to be the heroine who survived despite all the shits that life threw at her.
For Danny to be the perfect match for Amy.
To me, Amy just found another George.
She needed stability when she could escape from her problems. Now she needed understanding when she can no longer run from it.
And Danny, he would turn on her the moment his ego is at risk.
This movie has truly been the epitome of what would happen when you let your intrusive thoughts win.
Everything could have been stopped if one of them had stopped for a second and thought twice. Well, I guess then we wouldn’t have a movie to watch.
Thanks for reading it until here. It’s been a fun hour doing something a tad bit different from the usual.
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