I just took 3 days of my annual leave, staying in the same city and just absolutely rest.
My project is still on-going. Problems still arise here and there.
But if I were to wait until things are settled to take a break, that would probably be at least 2 months from now.
Did I feel a bit guilty taking this break? Absolutely. Will I do it again? Yes, every few months. And here are the reasons why:
1. Time to reflect
Starting this new job, I didn’t quite know what I wanted to achieve in my coming years. It’s not as simple as “being promoted early”.
That’s just the easy choice. Not because it’s easy to fulfill, but because it’s obvious. The true question that I couldn’t answer for a while was:
Is it the money, the experience? What exactly is the thing I want to come out of these years, saying: “I f**king did it”?
Having worked to the best of my capabilities, receiving feedback, discussing different ways to grow, I tried to work on everything: communication with leadership, managing clients, so on and so forth.
It was until these few days that I started to piece everything together: the thing standing in the way of me and the mastery of these skills — confidence:
The ultimate conviction in what I do and what I have to say
It is what makes leaders great: their firm belief in where they are heading that makes people to follow without much questioning.
That is where I want to get to in the next few years.
2. Know that you are not irreplaceable
That sounds self-sabotaging, doesn’t it? But to me, this is a healthy realization.
When I first started my job in Singapore, it was the thinking that nobody can do my job that got me to the point of burning out.
I was assigned to manage 3 projects at the same time without much context. I was also in the middle of finding a new place to live, figuring out ways to get around the city and reconnecting with old friends.
I didn’t know what to prioritize, and I didn’t know that I could ask for help. I ended up being sleep-deprived to the point where I started having really bad insomnia.
I was exhausted, mentally and physically, but still tried to keep everything going. It felt like if I were to say: “can I please take it slow?”, all the projects would be delayed and no one else can take over.
I still remember what my supervisor told me, the moment I told him I felt burned out and would not be able to come to work the next week:
It’s okay — things will still get done. Maybe not to the best of their ability, but things will always happen. And that’s good enough. You don’t have to worry.
And that’s true. The campaign was still launched. A couple of things got delayed, but things get delayed all the time, for one reason or another.
Now, I know that even without me, things can still go on with people of similar qualities, work ethics, and a good handover.
A few days won’t make a big difference to a project. But they can to someone’s well-being.
3. Let them know your values, and your boundaries
I don’t assume that people automatically take your work for granted. In fact, I have had the chance to work with great people who value their team.
Still, nobody can read your mind. One thing about keeping things going is that very likely, everyone assumes you are ok.
Maybe you are, but you don’t need to wait until stepping near the verge of a burnout to take a decent rest.
I know how I can easily let loose of my well-being by just going with the flow and keep grinding.
These few days of rest helps remind me that I can adjust that brake from time to time.
More than letting the team know that I need a break, I need to remind myself to take it easy.
Because once you’re in it without a stop, a problem might feel like a catastrophe, and moments of joy can easily be neglected when we don’t have time to look and enjoy the present.
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